Friday, September 13, 2013

All about my pregnancy

Pregnancy is a very beautiful thing - I will not argue with that. But I'm sure most mothers will agree that it isn't exactly a walk in the park either. Truly, it is a surreal feeling for a mother to finally see the little angel that she carried in her womb for what seems like eternity latched at her bossom. However, before a mother reaches that glorious end of the tunnel, she must undergo somewhat a series of "unfortunate events".

But, what's life without a little pain anyway?  After all, I believe that it is the concomitant sacrifice that makes the entire experience of pregnancy more meaningful.

Personally, I am thankful that the woes of my second pregnancy are lesser compared to when I had Zohan. (At least insofar as the first trimester is concerned.)There's no morning sickness, fewer food aversions, and lesser mood swings. However, the other familiar effects of pregnancy are here again. I'm having episodes of migraine-induced vomiting, I feel lethargic on most days, and my pimples did a MacArthur - they returned!!

My food cravings are not really unreasonable either. But last Monday, I woke up craving very badly for crunchy bacon. While I do not subscribe to the movie depiction of a pregnant woman's unreasonable cravings at the wee hours of the morning, I thought I deserved to eat what I wanted that day so I took the morning off to search for crunchy bacon. I headed to good 'ole Pancake House and had the entire morning to myself, slowly eating my food while tinkering with my phone.

This far in my pregnancy, that's the only episode of stubborn craving that I can think of. Of course, I eat citrus fruits like mangoes, pineapple, and santol, but these are fruits I'll take on any given day - pregnant or not. 

My weight gain is slow and steady compared to my first pregnancy. But that's partly because I am more conscious of what I eat. I have mentioned about my determination to do a VBAC (here and here); that's the reason why I have been watching what I eat. My OB says a big baby means we will not be trying a VBAC, so that's my inspiration to be obedient.

17 weeks pregnant

On the vanity side, I have not shopped for maternity clothes. I'm thinking of reusing my old maternity clothes, all of which I left intact at home. I also ditch the ugly but reliable crocs that I used during my first pregnancy. (Thank you crocs, you've been a big help!) This time, I consider style over functionality and settle for this Melissa shoes - flat, comfortable, and formal enough for attending hearings. I don't think it can accommodate my swollen feet until the ninth month though. Anyway, let's just cross the bridge when we get there. 
And of course, there are perks of being pregnant! I can take the "reverse ride" at the MRT. (When you ride at Trinoma to go southbound, you have to take the stairs to go to the opposite side. But if you're pregnant, the operators will allow you to enter the train after all the passengers have alighted, so you won't have to tire yourself. That means you're inside the train as it makes a reverse. Cool, right?) Until now, I take the public transportation so this reverse ride is making it more convenient for me. 

I can use the VIP lounge at the malls for free; I can take a cab without going through the long line; I get a nicer treatment from other people in general; and I have an excuse to grow big and add on pounds. And lest I forget, the baby in my tummy and I get a kiss each from Kuya Zohan every night before going to bed. Hands down, that's my favorite part!

That's it, pansit! I am now on my 18th week, and I hope it will continue to be uneventful from here until the end of the tunnel. (And pray with me for a safe VBAC, please?)

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

A revelation and a confession

We're having a boy again! At four months, the pototoy of our second baby already showed up during my routine ultrasound. And Kristan and I are more than grateful for having been entrusted by God to raise another child. 

You know when expectant parents say, "Sana girl/boy, pero ok lang kahit anong ibigay, basta healthy." Well, that' exactly how Kristan and I feel. To be honest, we are both hoping for a baby girl. But now that we know it's a boy again, we really don't mind. Of course, we hope that he'll be healthy, but how ever he turns out to be, we will decide so firmly to love him nonetheless.

But now that we're having two boys, I have a confession to make. One night while in bed, Kristan and I were discussing how we are going to raise and love two boys equally. 

I'm an only child and favoritism in the family is never an issue. Kristan has five other siblings, him being the eldest, and I can say he's lucky to be the favorite. This notwithstanding, I honestly feel all his siblings are okay with it because their parents are never deficient in showing each and everyone how much they are loved and taken care of. Plus, Kristan is a very loving and responsible Kuya, he gives his siblings no reason to despise him.

But what about us as parents? I am worried about what will set the second baby apart from our first born? Zohan is truly an amazing kid, and I'm not saying that because I'm his mother. He's smart, very malambing, and a really funny, silly boy. He manages to melt my heart every single day, despite the normal bouts of tantrums. And my husband can say the same thing about him.

If we are already bursting with love for him now, can we manage to give the same passion for parenting and instinctive love for the coming baby? What if we can't? What if I become the parent who played favorite and just can't contain it to herself?

I wish I can tell you that mostly, the things that we worry about actually don't happen. And if it does happen, it's far better than we imagined it to be. I wish I can tell you that our children are products of their own personality, they are different that's why we can never really love them with perfect symmetry. I wish I can tell you that if my husband and I just try to be a good person everyday, we will necessarily turn out to be good parents.

But I can't. Because I am a mother and that's what mothers do - we worry. So if there's any mother to more than one kid out there who knows how to get out of this rut, please do let me know. Because honestly, a good conversation over coffee sounds better than a lone soul battling against this paranoia. (Decaf for the pregnant momma, of course!)

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